Navigating Tensions in Values
Your values are what drives you–I started with this in my last newsletter, and I will double down and declare that grounded and aligned leaders work from their values. They stand strong and know where they stand.
At the same time, sometimes your values are in conflict, and this is where it gets hard. As a new leader, you may have seen this in smaller ways. You may have entered your leadership journey through earnest transparency, but as a leader, you may not be able to always offer the same level of transparency. As you grew, you needed to learn how to honor transparency and authentic relationships with the ability to respect the confidentiality and respect of all your staff that each more senior role requires.
As you move to more senior roles, you may find that those tensions come up more often, and they may create tension between some of your core values, the ones you hold closest. Many people in mission-driven work deeply honor fairness, for example. You may have been a champion of fairness in your career, speaking for those with a quieter voice, or for those not in the room when decisions are made. As you move up the decisionmaking ladder, you may also see that honoring fairness can also create inflexibility or even additional red tape. When you also value efficiency and flexibility, this is a deep tension. It is also a potential source of greater strength.
Some of the leaders I respected, but also wished had done better in their roles are those who just stuck with the single value, and over relied on the simplicity it offered them. As a public servant, many leaders did value fairness, and in doing so, they became inflexible, when flexibility was most needed to balance out the pressures of the work and the times.
Growth as a person and a leader requires you to practice holding two values at once. Especially when important values conflict. These may be your own values in conflict, or they may be organizational values, or values of staff that create some tension with your own. As new generations enter the workforce, the leaders who listen to the values of these staff develop, those who dismiss close off an important source of growth.
This conflict is a rich opportunity to grow. Other people's values aren’t lesser values. They are valid and may tell you what you most need to know. They tell you when you aren’t honoring their values through your leadership. They tell you through turnover, low motivation, and direct feedback.
As a leader, you can’t make everyone happy, so you learn that you can’t pivot with every bit of feedback. However, you can listen to the signals from your stakeholders. Listen not just to what they say in words or action, but also to how you react. Listen for what you react strongly to, or discount. You don’t have to fix it all–that is not possible, but you can hold this insight as you make your choices. You can bring intention to your choices, intention informed by complexity.
I invite you to practice holding conflicting values as you face difficult choices, or feel tensions rise. Ask yourself:
What feels hard about this situation or feedback? What value does this touch on for me?
What value feels in conflict with a value that matters to me? Who holds that value?
How can I bring complexity to this situation or decision, and avoid all or nothing thinking?
What shifts for you when you hold conflicting values?
Whether you are in a leadership job, or still navigating change, leaning into complexity grounded in values opens up a world of possibility. It allows you to bring intention to the hardest decisions, and the bravest moves. Open yourself up to a future that is aligned, complex and agile. Continue your growth through this balance and insight.
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