Finding Your Ground
You may be in a new role, facing a new challenge–or the opposite, too long in a role that is wearing heavily on you. Either way, it can be hard to get perspective on where you are grounded.
We all feel overwhelmed, or like we are just barely treading water (or even figuratively drowning) at times. However, more often than you would expect, when you pause and get your bearings, you realize that you are fine. You may be uncomfortable, even profoundly uncomfortable, but you may learn upon taking stock that you’re doing well even in a difficult situation.
Pausing and taking stock of the gap between your internal assessment of where you think you should be and where you feel you are can offer perspective. The story of how you imagine other people or leaders are doing, how they feel, what they accomplish, how they use their time–is likely wildly different from their realities. Don’t compare your insides to other people’s outsides. This is a lesson we need to learn again and again–sometimes multiple times a day!
What does it mean to find your ground when you feel overwhelmed and behind? Here are some questions you can ask yourself to check in:
What feels hard right now?
How do I experience this physically?
What expectation do I have of myself right now? What stories am I holding of how I should be navigating this challenge or time of my life?
How grounded are these expectations and stories?
What is going well? Even if it doesn’t feel like enough, or like it’s fully true, what evidence or feedback are you seeing of what is working?
What are you learning about yourself and your situation through these questions?
Some of you are answering these questions and confirming that you are just overwhelmed, and that things are not going well, or well enough. That is ok. I invite you to pause and sit with this feeling. If you are not doing well, it will help you to work from this insight, rather than a place of fear or panic. Let the feelings in–whether that’s overwhelm, embarrassment, shame or whatever is arising for you. In my own life and in my client’s lives, accepting the situation becomes the ground you start from. You can work from this understanding and find the support you need. My previous articles on Finding Meaning, Letting Go and Practices may be helpful, or please reach out to talk if I can help.
Many of you may be surprised to find the ground you are standing on isn’t as shaky as you imagined. Stepping out of your daily trek may show you how much progress you’ve made, and it might help you recognize the challenges you’ve overcome. For most of us, there is always something we could have done better, or more we could have done. Yet what you’ve done may very well be enough. And despite most people’s fears, you may be enough, or more than enough.
I invite you to take a moment to build on the ground you have found. Whether you find yourself in a swampy bog (which is a lovely place from my ecologist’s perspective), or well on your way on your mountain trek, take a moment to reflect:
What is working that I can build on?
What structures, habits and/or mindsets will help me for my next steps?
What stories, habits or mindsets can I leave behind to bring clarity and lightness on the path ahead?
What could self-kindness look like for me right now? How could self-compassion help me on my journey?
We all have our ups and downs, and can feel trapped by circumstance. Making intentional choices and bringing even light reflections to our world can bring a wealth of clarity and reduce the feeling of overwhelm and the burden of (often unrealistic) self-expectations.
Please reach out to learn more or to connect!
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Connect with me: I help mission-driven leaders move from overwhelmed to aligned, or from underchallenged to inspired. Click here to book a free discovery call.