Letting Go
As you grow, in your career, taking on more, becoming more responsible or even getting better at connecting with friends, you may lose something important. You can lose the space you need to reflect, recharge and recover.
I see it all the time with my clients. Candidly, I do it to myself as well. When there is more on your plate, do you get more efficient? Perhaps plan better and upgrade your lists? Or get up even earlier? I find that often even the self-care you build in can start to weigh on you. It can feel like you really should get up extra early to meditate, then exercise before you face your day. And for some of you, that works perfectly well, but for some seasons of your life, even those routines can weigh on you.
When your systems break down, it isn’t always a sign that you need to ramp up your systems, or up your tolerance for more work or events. Sometimes they are a sign that you need some room for error and simple presence.
You may not need a full diagnostic of your systems, but the habit of checking in on what you can let go is a powerful tool. Try it now, what is on your plate that you can let go?
What came to mind? Sometimes it’s the decision you’ve gone back and forth on. You may feel like if there’s not a compelling reason not to go to an event, take a (non-mandatory) business trip, or not to jump in on a task, then you should do that thing. But if you flip the script each week and look at what you can drop, you will quickly see the things that were draining you. These are well-camouflaged energy vampires. They come with a bit of guilt, some self-expectation we didn’t realize we were carrying, or someone else’s standards that we don’t need to live by.
We prioritize our tasks, we strategize and plan, but we don’t always de-prioritize. These lingering tasks and expectations have a cost. Trust that if it’s important, it’ll come back. Know that the consequence for most of the things you’ll let go is not high. Most importantly, know that the burden of carrying all these expectations, even if small on their own, is large.
I usually have a list of questions for each practice, but this has one simple question: What can you let go?
What you can do is experiment with where you apply this:
When you look at your routines, where can you let something go, or at least know what’s optional?
Do you have events on your calendar that don’t spark joy for you, or cumulatively feel like too much, what can you let go? This is especially important for introverts!
When you look at your priorities, which are most important, and which are least important?
What expectations are you carrying that aren’t serving you well? What can you let go?
These practices can be applied in very nuanced ways as well. For example, if you struggle with anxiety, you can see if there is anything you can let go to lessen the anxiety. This could be a fear of judgement, or a fear of making a mistake. This works best when your anxiety is being managed, and you are working on practices to bring awareness and build your confidence through small experiments.
Or if you want to shift the dynamics of your conversations, you can practice letting go of being right, or of making your point, or of explaining yourself. These are also liberating, and can open doors to new growth.
For now, think of what makes you feel lighter, and where can you practice letting go?
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